The other day I was reading “The Exercise of Prophecy” by Graham Cooke when I came upon the following quote:
“Without a sense of objective, we sometimes fudge the words or pad the prophecy with too many human insights. We see a blurrier picture because we do not have a sharp focus on what God wants to do.”
When I read that, it made me take a step back and review one of my previous journal entries, from when I had asked God to tell me what he was thinking (practicing the challenge from the Itching Ears blog). I felt God had said to me, “My love, you have a great day. Look for My surprises awaiting you. A good day is ahead.” Based on that I was filled with hope. I thought it was a direct answer to my fears about my day ahead.
That day, I was going to have to brave the world so that I could get new glasses. I’d put this off for over eight months, first for cancer surgery, then for Covid-19. Well, to tell the truth, I also put it off because buying glasses is traumatic for me.
Every time I buy glasses, I relive the stress of having seven surgeries on my left eye. I had two separate retinal detachments and a cataract, which grew because of the things they did during the operations for the retina. It takes a lot of effort to talk myself into going to the optometrist to get the prescription, but even more to go to an optical shop.
Crazy right? But trying to find new frames and dealing with the exorbitant cost sends me over the edge. Unlike David, who’s able to buy all-in-one glasses, I generally end up buying seven pairs at a time. Why? I need bifocal for distance/mid-range in sunglass and regular eyeglass for driving. Then I need single-focus lenses for distance, computer, and three pairs of reading glasses (each for different places that I read.) I tried the transition glasses, but that was terrifying. I kept falling and bumping into things.
Anyway, after that excellent time with God, I set out with a spring in my step and hope that this trip to the optical store would be fun. However, about ten minutes into my appointment, I was so stressed, I became snarky with my husband and finally, stalked out of the store in a huff. Not pretty. When I got in the car, I started crying and had a major pity party. With the stupid Coronavirus shutdowns, I knew it would be another week before I could get another appointment in a different store.
After a few minutes, I got quiet, but in my mind, I was railing at God for not fulfilling His promises from earlier. What kind of God sets someone up for that kind of disappointment? Didn’t He know how tough this day would be without what I just went through?
My superstar husband, who always tries to fix my problems, even when I don’t want him too, drove off to another store and boldly walked in and told them we just wanted to look around. Everyone in the place was giving us the evil eye. But I found a sunglass frame that fit all my criteria. A win considering all the details I must take into consideration when buying new frames. The bad news was that without an appointment I couldn’t buy them, and it would be two and a half weeks before they had an opening. I wanted to cry again, but at least I found something. I made the appointment just in case I couldn’t find anything better.
We drove home without successfully getting any glasses. I went off to my office to do anything that would keep me from focusing on my disappointment over the outcome of the day.
About an hour later, my husband came in and announced that he found the frames I liked on the internet and that they were $100 cheaper than what we had looked at, and I could have them in less than a week.
The next day he told me he’d found a place that could see us in a couple of days and replace the lenses in the frames I already had and liked – at 40% off each pair after the first one. Unbelievable, both David and I would be able to get new lenses at that rate. Not only were we going to get a reasonable price, but they were bringing in an optician early so we could have the store to ourselves – VIP treatment.
Finally, I got what God was trying to teach me. I gave myself a good scolding and apologized to God for interpreting what He said to me in a way that suited my desires. I felt Him chuckling and saying, “That’s okay. I just wanted you to fully grasp what it means ‘to pad with human insight’ what I’m saying to you.”
It’s not a lesson I will forget anytime soon, since He provided an everyday reminder in my glasses – those things that give me human sight.
Are you or have you been angry at God for His not living up to your expectations? Are you sure His plans and timing aren’t better for you? I know it’s hard to keep our wishes and desires from coloring how we perceive God. Still, I challenge you to wait and see – instead of jumping to conclusions based on what you think, not on what God is actually doing.
Praying that God gives you great insight and the wisdom to see it played out in His time!
Andrea